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Wasting money on new windows, I don’t think so...

Wed, 08/31/2022 - 5:00 am

On Thursday of this week, I’m getting new windows. Just replacement windows, no combining smaller windows into larger ones, no covering up windows that should have never been there in the first place, and no fancy window seats, Dutch doors, and no windows which become translucent when the sun goes down. However, it is very hard to explain to some of my friends and family why I’m getting new windows.

My neighbor Leonard who knows a lot about construction, insurance claims, and investments was astounded that I was wasting my money on new windows. “You haven’t had those windows very long. Didn’t you get storm windows a while back.” I explained to him that the overlayed plexiglass windows which were bought back in 1978 had a little wear and tear on them. “Well, what’s wrong with them?” I explained that the sand, wind, and noise from passing teenagers with loud stereo systems had pitted the windows so badly, that the professional window cleaner, I tried to hire, said it couldn’t be done. “Hogwash! Why I know several people who would wash those windows for you.”

I’m not sure if Leonard has ever seen out my windows on a sunny afternoon when the vision is of “Fog on the Thames.” I changed the subject. Later, he did bring up the fact that the rippled glass in the one- hundred- thirtyyear- old windows was worth a pretty penny as an antique. I told him he could have them if he would come and take them out. He changed he subject.

One of my sisters asked me what kind of windows I was getting. I hated to admit it, but I told her they were “ weather- controllers.” That would be windows which kept in the heat in the winter and the cool air in the summer. I think that’s what they do. The big advantages are the ability to see out of them, open them to let out smoke and wasps, and keep tabs on the neighbors.

The installers called and said they would be here early on Thursday morning. I am supposed to remove any curtains, window shades, knickknacks, and furniture which might block the work area in front of the windows. Nobody told me about that. I assumed I would sit around and look rich while they moved furniture, took down curtains and got generally saturated with dust.

I think they are going to be surprised. During the last one hundred years, those sixteen windows have been painted at least seventy- three times. The last time those windows were opened was just after Franklin D. Roosevelt was elected. Someone was burning campaign brochures and they had to let out the smoke.

Those poor installers had better bring a sharp scraper and a big bucket for the dried paint. I think if I had had to do that part of the preparation, I might just have lived with the rippled glass and the pitted storm windows.

For the next few weeks, look the other way when you drive by my house. The new curtains won’t be in from the discount store and… just take my word for it. Look the other way.