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Spa treatments aren’t always appreciated

Wed, 02/13/2019 - 12:00 am
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    Beth Beggs

I offered to stop on the way back into town this last Saturday to buy a large tube of Bengay and a box of Band-Aids. If I had been thinking, I would have taken the sitter a roll of duct tape and an engine-lift gismo from the auto repair store when I left my dogs, but I hadn’t planned on getting her to cut their nails when I dropped them off.›It was only later that I remembered she was an excellent groomer as well as the best dog sitter in town. So, I called her and asked her to cut their nails while she had them.

I may have mentioned this in columns before, but my dogs are strong. Zuckey is a fourteen-year-old, blind dachshund with arthritis and a bad pancreas. She has difficulty climbing stairs and finding her way in strange areas. Her only dog-trick is to roll over, which she will do for anyone who mistakenly offers to rub her belly. At that point she becomes a speed bump.›Needless to say, the arthritis and pancreatitis have been the result of my overfeeding — and her refusal to go to the gym. Like Jabba the Hut, beauty is not a priority to Zuckey.›

One would think that inactivity would result in a very placid dog who would gratefully appreciate a spa treatment. Wrong.›That old dog can suddenly turn into Wonder Dog when presented with nail clippers. I’ve resorted to lying atop her on the couch and once locked her in the bathroom with me. These efforts resulted in a new couch and a couple of tiles having to be replaced.› › A few weeks ago, I spread a streak of peanut butter on the cabinet, in the vain hope that she would be distracted while I slipped the clippers out of the drawer. She looked at me with disdain and skidded out of my hands and across that smear of greasy peanut butter. I had a hard time getting it out of the carpet.

As I said, Zuckey is old and the groomer said she did tire after about half an hour on the grooming table. I didn’t offer to pay for a new table — surely, she has insurance. However, Dixie is not old and lasted much longer.

Neither of the dogs are stupid. Neither is deaf. Neither can send emails or text, but I would imagine that for blocks around, other dogs were aware that “mayhem was afoot.” The groomer did indicate that neither dog appreciated her efforts, nor did they care that I was paying good money for the service.

The dog-care books say that one should start preparing dogs when they are puppies. Massaging the feet of a small dog is supposed to get them ready for nail-trimming.› Making little snippy noises while pretending to use the clippers will get them used to the sound. Leaving the clippers lying around — maybe putting them beside the dog bowl or rubbing them down in duck fat — will make them more palatable.›

I must say that Dixie and Zuckey came home with nice pedicures. The groomer was well paid and they say she should be out of intensive care within the week.›