Listen up, you hear? It’s important.

Listening to each other is one of the most important acts that anyone can do. However, it’s difficult to listen to some people. When we already know what they are going to say, then we zone them out … and miss the new important thing they are trying to say. This is rude, but also dangerous.

Some of us are handicapped in our listening skills. For me, it’s hard to listen when the window shades are not raised to the same level. I can hardly follow a line of conversation when a bug is flying around the talker’s head … or a bee is nearby … or a butterfly … or a squirrel. I know it’s called Attention Deficit Disorder. I’d have probably qualified for some of that “fixit” medication back in the day, but at my age, I’m just considered senile when I am drawn away to more pressing matters.

I really care that my friends are ill. I want to know how they are feeling, what the doctor said, what their test results were; but sometimes they run out of their allotted time, and my mind just wanders off. As a kid, I thought I perfected “the look” that would make someone think I was listening. Of course, my mother could read the glassed-over stare, the smile that was held a little too long, the interruption with a question about what we were having for dinner …

As an adult, I notice people doing the same. Maybe I’ve learned to listen better. I hope so. I try to look the other person in the eye when they are talking. When one is talking, it’s terrible to have someone turn away just before the punch line. Experts in the field say that looking off is not the only symptom of someone not listening. Maybe they aren’t mirroring your body language. One person is sitting across the table with plaintive hands, in prayer position. This is a serious conversation. If the other person is drumming their fingers to an obvious musical beat, they aren’t praying with you … they aren’t with you at all.

I can remember many times as a teacher telling stories of the Texas Revolution. Those were serious times. People were dying. Heroes were stepping up. A new world was upon us … and a little twerp in the back of the room asks to go to the bathroom. He was not into the Revolution. Maybe his family came from Connecticut and didn’t really believe the Alamo story. I’m pretty sure that I rolled my eyes, probably got angry, and said something ugly. Because when we talk about serious things, we want people to take them seriously … even if it is boring.

I’m sure it wasn’t all my fault. People who don’t listen are sometimes arrogant, thinking that it is a waste of time to listen to my stories. Seriously, they are missing out on some good stories. Maybe they are defensive creatures. Just because I got to go to Ann Richard’s inauguration and sat next to a movie star doesn’t mean that I think I’m better than my listener. They will never get the chance to go to an inauguration. I’m sure I wasn’t bragging.

The other day, a woman told me she hadn’t done her taxes because her dog died. I popped off with a fast retort. “The IRS doesn’t care if your dog died.” I think I heard her wrong. When she came to bring her documents this afternoon, she brought a copy of the local paper with a picture of her father who passed away a couple of weeks ago. Maybe she didn’t say “dog.”