Planning for the holidays, or hiding from them

In case you haven’t thought about it lately, you have 79 more days to shop before Christmas. That’s a sobering thought, but there are worse realities out there. There are 23 days until Halloween and 47 days until Thanksgiving.

You have already missed Yom Kippur. That was last Tuesday. There was no big meal, handing out candy or giving presents, but to the Jewish people around the world, it was important. Lots of fasting, prayer, and worship. For the average Southerner, we prefer holidays where we eat too much, spend too much, and get loud. We could do with a little more fasting and prayer.

Indigenous People’s Day will be Oct. 11. In my childhood, we celebrated Columbus Day in October, but that really wasn’t much of a celebration for those native Americans who threw open the doors for Columbus and his crowd and then wished they hadn’t. So, in 1992, it became Indigenous People Day. Most of us claim a Cherokee grandmother or some such tie to the “real Americans,” so this might be a good time to ask for the day off.

After much research and a couple of paragraphs having to be erased because I guessed and got it wrong, I must announce that Election Day, November 8, 2022, is not a federal holiday. At least not this year. Of course, it is the second Tuesday of November in an election year, so it is important, but not a holiday. This might be another day to call in sick… especially if the candidate you are supporting is in trouble. You will definitely be “sick” if the other guy wins. So, see you at the polls on November 8th.

From November 24th though November28th, we ride the Gluttony Roller Coaster. Many of us spend a great deal to travel to meet family and eat until we are sick. The reigning matriarch (woman in charge) gets the thrill of making pies, thawing turkey, baking cornbread, and deconstructing it to make dressing. Someone in the family has to dig out the “good dishes.” At least that’s the memory I have of Thanksgiving Day. Some people have gotten smart and sought better ways to celebrate with frozen dinners, eating out, or dressing in old clothes to join the community spread (for the needy). Tied right behind Thanksgiving Day is Black Friday which should be called Black and Blue Friday. It’s the day in which there is such a fine line between smart and stupid, that no one is really pointing fingers. Are those people smart to stand in line for hours waiting to buy a big screen television or the latest release of a video game? Could they have bought it online just as cheap… wearing their pajamas and waiting for the Fed Ex driver to drop it off? If you are waiting outside Target at midnight, someone thinks you are smart. If you are not there, someone thinks you are stupid. Be strong my friend, you have only 48 days to pick a side.

The roller coaster slips a little over that weekend, and then Cyber Monday all those people with frost bitten noses join the nerds as they surf the web for the “real” bargains. Only 51 days till then. Keep watching. Some stores are breaking the rules and coming out early.

The next eighty days will be exciting. Buy those bags of candy early. Get a feather for your hair. Don’t forget to vote. And spend a little time in prayer so that you will still be a good person when the new year gets here… in about eighty-six days.